The Haircut

I have gotten my hair cut in a myriad of American cities since moving to Spain.  NYC and Boston are staples, also Philadelphia, San Francisco, Austin.  No longer do I hold allegiance to a particular stylist, someone who might know me and my idea of self presentation. A person who can recognize when I’m happy to have a conversation or when a hangover means I just need to sit in the chair and not talk. These days, the only real prerequisite is English. Not that I haven’t tried getting my haircut in Spain.

In fact, that grand effort was made during the first three months of life in Madrid.  A generous colleague made an appointment for me with her hairdresser – and agreed to meet me at the spot on the appointed day and time.

Ready for a Spanish language challenge, I did my due diligence before the appointment. I wrote explicit instructions in Spanish for the hairdresser – committing to memory the words for what I wanted (en punto) and, more importantly, what I did not want (en capas, flequillos, color permanente.)  I printed photos of celebrities and models.  I practiced the speech.

Let it be known that the majority of Spanish women have the. most. beautiful. hair.  And seemingly without effort.  In fact, they probably wash their long, thick, nutrient-rich hair every single day and swoosh it to the side between cigarette drags and espresso shots.

Ah, the relief to meet my colleague at the hair salon that day. But, of course, nothing went as planned. My rehearsed speech received quizzical looks. Handing over the slip of paper, it is inspected like hieroglyphics.

And then – as if I wasn’t there – a conversation in rapid Spanish ensues.  Literally and figuratively, over my head. For ten minutes.  Finally, my colleague pats me on the shoulder and walks out the door.  Sinking in the chair, the smock suddenly a suffocation device, I realize there is no way was any of this could go in my favor.

I wore my hair in a ponytail (coleta) for about three months after that – trying to hide my chemically altered, red-ish, dramatically layered hair.  Next to nothing could be done about the bangs.