As James Salter says, life is weather. And it may be that springtime has helped me decide to not only focus on the things that interest me, but actually do them. And go where my interest leads. Even if this means going it alone.
Now, make no mistake. I like doing things by myself. I am an only child. I was an equestrian growing up (a fairly individual sport aside from the horse). I backpacked through Europe on my own for 2+ months in college. My dream vacation is to rent one of the lonely dune shacks on the national seashore outside Provincetown for a few weeks. I love yoga because every movement, every breath, is entirely my own. I’ll stop with the examples before I begin to come off as strange.
Because sometimes, solo does seem strange. Wherever you go people are coupled up or in groups. I consider them and think – wow, lucky that they all like to do the same things and get to do them together. (Sometimes I think, how lucky that they like one another.)
But, truth be told: it’s hard to find other people who have exactly the same interests as you. And if that’s what it takes to actually go out and do the things you want to do…well, I found that you just don’t do anything. So, in years past – I found myself not doing much because those around me didn’t like to do the same things that I did. For the most part. So we settled on what we did have in common. And that was fun and that was fine. But nothing was new.
Then something happened which then led me to eventually realize I am the master of my own design. (I have never before used that saying, but it is true.) And on top of that, I don’t have to look around to find someone who likes to do something just so that I can feel okay doing it too. That’s a high-grade waste of time. And it seems like such an obvious waste of time, but I think we can all fall into that trap every once in a while. (irony know no bounds as I think to myself…it can’t be just me, right?)
I didn’t realize I was doing this when I went to the Boston Symphony Orchestra last Saturday night. I just really wanted to hear the Beethoven and Mahler combo and didn’t think of anyone who would/could go with me. Of course, the music was amazing, and at the BSO, does it really matter if you are with someone? No. In fact, it might be preferable. My thoughts wandered unhinged wherever they wanted during Opus 61. During Mahler’s Symphony 4, I admittedly got a touch bored.
And I also didn’t fully realize I was doing this when I went to see Elvis Perkins in Deerland last night at the Brattle Theatre. I don’t think I know anyone who knows Elvis Perkins aside from my friend Karla, who had suggested that I go. And I went, and it was a little bit weird to go by myself just because I’m not used to going to music on my own. But this is the very thing that I actually like. Being just two steps out of my comfort zone. Just enough to feel a little electricity in everything but not so much that I can’t focus on what’s going on around me.
The Boston Sacred Harp Singers opened up for Perkins (who was good) and they were unusual. And religious. Sacred Harp singing is a tradition of choral music that took root in the South and it’s based on something called “shape note” music. Anyway. They did sing about god in a non-denominational way and I was reminded of when I realized that Iron & Wine is chock-full of Christian imagery and I had to come to terms with whether or not that altered what I thought about the music.
Here’s a line that particularly struck me from the Sacred Harp Singers last night: “The moment when our lives begin, we all begin to die.” So, of the two last night, I liked Elvis Perkins more, but I have thought more about the Sacred Harp Singers.
Tomorrow, I’m thinking about going to a talk at the Kennedy School with the screenwriter of the movie “Milk.” Then I have an awesome day planned for a beautifully sunny Saturday and I’m not going to tell you about it, because you’ll probably want to come.
